As a Life & Career Coach and as a Mentor, the most difficult times for me and my Coachees/Mentees is the process of Self Evaluation, Identifying One’s flaws, and Remembering the Mistakes Made. This is often difficult because as a self defense mechanism humans try to hide their faults in the subconscious. To not be reminded of their weaknesses and to not see oneself as a failure. Confronting our demons is not easy.
Failure is often tainted as a Taboo Word. Society learns to shame everyone whose failure is at exhibit forgetting there own failures in life. But as Alexander Pope Said
“To err is Human”.
However, with years of research on Human Behavior and Human Success, Knowledge Leaders, Therapists and Psychologists have all agreed that only by confronting the shortcomings of one’s self can we bring about Self-Improvement.
No Change is easy and No Failure is a setback. You always start your road to self discovery and improvement with this simple mantra.
When you see each setback as a lesson for improvement, as a window of opportunity there is nothing holding you back from imminent success.
Self Esteem is how a person respects himself/herself. It is a part of the Self-Concept theory that talks about Self Esteem and Self Efficacy, both.
Theres a thin line between a Healthy Self Esteem and Over the top Self Esteem. People who can differentiate between the two would do well than others who mix the two or cannot balance the two.
Self -Esteem is also your perspective on life and your circumstances. It makes you the person you are. It is also the biggest trigger when it comes to dealing with a failure within ones life.
- Low Self-Esteem, doubting oneself, seeing each failure as a reason for self-pity is only going to make your life more miserable. In these cases you have handed over the reigns of your life to circumstances and other people.
- Healthy Self Esteem, is being motivated about ones strength and not giving up. Making sure that each bump in the road is just another lesson or detour to your final destination. In this case you do not pull yourself down and you do not let others pull you down.
- High Self Esteem, Pride/OverConfidence/Vanity/Narcism, so many names to just one problem. people who cannot lift the veil of Self-Love to see what the actual problems are and how to improve on ones weaknesses. These are generally bullies, who fail at keeping relationships and also fail at learning in life.
How does your Self-Esteem Effect your View on Failures in Life:
How you deal with the failures in your life is greatly dependent on what your perspective is about life.
- Healthy Self-Esteem and Failure: If you are a motivated and optimistic person, each mistake you make will open a new chapter in your life. You will be thinking about a solution and will not forget the errors made. Infact you will include the mistake as a checkpoint in your mental checklist.
- High Self-Esteem and Failure: This case in particular is common with the new age of millennials who had access to everything their heart desired because of being over pampered by parents and family. However Higher than required Self-Esteem can make a person closed to outside opinions, suggestions and improvement opportunities. Even though their confidence is great, but its often something that holds them back when creating long term relationships. They are not great leaders because they never see or hear their peers or teams feedback. They would never learn from their mistakes and would never see failure as what is.
- Low Self Esteem and Failure: People with low self-esteem often cause self harm and are a danger to themselves in the long run. Not only because of the mental strain they put themselves through but also because of continuous stress and self-pity they do not have great physical health either. Stress and anxiety are common for people with Low Self Esteem. They never see the other side of the coin and also do not learn to capitalize on opportunities that may result because of a failure. Their self-pity mode makes them less averse to Risk taking.
Maheen Noor Soomro, HR Super Heroine. 10 Years of HR & People Management. Talent Acquisition Ninja Style. A Career & Life Coach. Co-founder & partner at my Entrepreneurial Venture Called Mushawar Consulting, a Business, Technology & HR Consulting Firm. A Staunch Supporter of Women & Youth Development and Empowerment Initiatives. Counseling Students & Professionals. I believe in Helping others Help themselves. You can read more from me at Revitalize & Rise, http://www.maheensoomro.com and Mushawar Consulting or follow me on Facebook & Linkedin to stay updated with the latest trends!